


Not In That Way

by the_only_education_worth_having



Category: IT (Movies - Muschietti), IT - Stephen King, it 2 - Fandom
Genre: Angst, Asthma, Asthma attack, Boys Kissing Boys, Flirting, Fluff, Kissing, LGBT, M/M, Panic Attack, boys loving boys
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-19
Updated: 2020-03-19
Packaged: 2021-03-01 03:54:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,130
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23218837
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/the_only_education_worth_having/pseuds/the_only_education_worth_having
Summary: Eddie and Richie return to Derry
Relationships: Eddie Kaspbrak & Richie Tozier, Eddie Kaspbrak/Richie Tozier
Kudos: 19





	Not In That Way

**Author's Note:**

> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DLkWlO5n46k

[Derry held many secrets.   
](https://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.youtube.com%2Fwatch%3Fv%3DDLkWlO5n46k&t=ZWQyYTY4ZGExNmQxYWZiZmMwM2VhMDg4NDBhZGUwY2JmZTNlODkzNSxMWVY0a1Y5dw%3D%3D&b=t%3AiIN8ghdSnFfHQludv_MaVQ&p=https%3A%2F%2Fwhatstruthgottodowithit.tumblr.com%2Fpost%2F613048267657347072%2Fnot-in-that-way&m=1)

[They w](https://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.youtube.com%2Fwatch%3Fv%3DDLkWlO5n46k&t=ZWQyYTY4ZGExNmQxYWZiZmMwM2VhMDg4NDBhZGUwY2JmZTNlODkzNSxMWVY0a1Y5dw%3D%3D&b=t%3AiIN8ghdSnFfHQludv_MaVQ&p=https%3A%2F%2Fwhatstruthgottodowithit.tumblr.com%2Fpost%2F613048267657347072%2Fnot-in-that-way&m=1)ere forgotten secrets but secrets nonetheless. It was funny how many people could forget what happened in such a short space of time. You would think that missing kids and killer clowns would be the talk of the town considering how much people in small towns like a juicy piece of gossip but you’d be wrong. 

Once the monster lay dormant people forgot. They forgot the fear. They forgot how closely they watched their children wondering if they’d be the next to disappear. They forgot the candlelight vigils and missing posters that flooded the town during the reign of terror. They forgot. One may wonder how this could happen but no one knows. Instead, their focus shifted back to what every small town is focused on, other people’s business. 

You would think that the happenings of 27 years prior would be enough to make Richie Tozier ever come back to Derry. You’d think fighting a killer clown at 13 would be enough to make him stay in that comfy New York loft and continue gigging for a decent hourly rate and a free drink every night. That’s what you’d think. But like I said, people forgot, even those who faced the monster first hand didn’t realise why they had been avoiding the town they grew up in for so long. So when Mike Hanlon contacted Richie it was with a feeling of reluctance he decided to obey and drive up to Maine to his old stomping ground. 

If only Richie knew what he had forgotten all those years prior he probably wouldn’t have shown up. Richie arrived, late as always, to find most of the group already at the restaurant ready to order a mountain of Chinese food. He greeted everyone and took his seat at the table next to his childhood best friend Eddie. Eddie smiled curtly and carried on with the conversation he had been having with Ben who was sitting to his other side. Richie smiled back at him though he couldn’t help but feel hurt that his former pal was being so standoffish. Richie decided not to bother himself much about it and switched on his jovial personality to entertain everyone for the rest of the meal. 

This was hard to do though, even as a stand-up comedian there was only so much bad news you could put a positive spin on and Mike was sure giving Richie a run for his money. Memories started flooding back to the group of monsters and torment. They couldn’t believe they had forgotten. Richie couldn’t believe what he had lost, what he could have had. As the chaos died down and each member of the party fled back to the hotel Richie dawdled. He took his time and clambered into his car last of all, putting it in drive and driving no more than the speed limit all through town. He took the scenic route, his mind replaying all of the memories that had washed to the forefront of his mind this evening. 

There was a reason he had left Derry. You could say it was the killer clown but you’d be wrong. In his teenage years, Pennywise seemed like a distant memory to him and his loser friends, the only time he remembered it was when he noticed the faint pink line across his palm where they had made a blood pact. At 40 plus it was hard to notice that scar, let alone recall where he had gotten it. You could also think it was the call of the bright lights and fame of the big apple that called his name and made him up sticks as soon as he got the chance. You’d also be wrong. Richie had learned that becoming a famous stand up wasn’t going to be easy from age 16 when he would road trip down to the city and stop in some dingy hotel for a couple of nights just about making enough to cover gas at some back street comedy club. No, there was one big reason that Richie had left as soon as humanly possible and he didn’t even realise it until tonight when he felt that icy feeling in his stomach as his best friend snubbed him. Eddie. He’d left because of Eddie. 

Looking back on it Richie couldn’t believe he had been so stupid. He rolled down his as he lit up a cigarette hoping the rush of nicotine would be enough to mask the sickly feeling he had gotten in his stomach. 

You see, he and Eddie had been friends for a long time, since kindergarten in fact. They had grown up together. Reached their teenage years together and then nothing. They had grown apart. And it’s been known that childhood friends drift apart but this was not the same. Richie and Eddie had been inseparable until their 17th year. Richie had just turned 18 and Eddie was going to turn it later in August. They were coming to the end of their school career. Eddie, anal as ever had been preparing himself for the SATs since freshman year and encouraging Richie, who was prepared to wing it, to do the same for just as long. They were sitting at Eddie’s table kitchen within earshot of his mother who was sitting in her easy chair in the living room. Eddie was engrossed in a book whilst Richie was sat seeing how many times in a row he could toss his pencil in the air and catch it. 

‘Rich,’ Eddie sighed, scrunching his face up in frustration, ‘will you stop, that this is really important!’  
‘What’s important? The topic that you’ve memorised 30,000 times?’  
‘Yeah, you’ll think so when I fail and it’s all your fault.’   
‘Ed,’ Richie sighed, ‘there’s no way that you’re not going to ace this test.’  
‘This isn’t a test! It’s the SATs Richie. Don’t you get it! I need to pass this, I’m not just gonna dump myself in New York and be a stand up extraordinaire like you,’ Eddie said. He and Richie both heard the wheeze that came up in his throat and continued as panic set it. Eddie grabbed his inhaler from his pocket, shook it and inhaled hoping for relief. 

‘Ed, relax man! Look I’ll get your mom,’ Richie said rising from the seat and heading towards the sliding door which separated them from Mrs Kaspbrak. Richie noticed her in the chair and after a quick scan saw the gentle and even rise and fall of her chest as well as her close eyes insinuating she was asleep. Richie thought this was probably for the best considering the duo often caused each other to panic more than necessary. Richie slipped out of the living room and shut the sliding door to find Eddie still in the kitchen, his head in his hands as his breathing became erratic and fast as the panic set in. 

‘Where’s..my..mom?’ Eddie panted.  
‘She’s asleep,’ Richie said, ‘look, forget her, let’s head outside so you can calm down. Forget about the SATs for a second.’ Eddie shook his head to disagree but Richie was marginally stronger and quite a bit taller than him and so grabbed him under his arms and yanked him to his feet pulling him towards the back door. Once they were outside Richie sat down on the steps of the back porch and beckoned Eddie to follow suit. He was reluctant but sat beside him anyway.   
‘Okay,’ Richie said, ‘let’s take some deep breaths… in through the nose… out through the mouth.’  
‘Your..advice…is…breathing!?’ Eddie said, still panting.   
‘C’mon at least I’m trying here. At least attempt this hippie-dippy bullshit,’ Richie said rolling his eyes as he breathed in slowly once again. Eddie rolled his eyes too but followed his best friend. He couldn’t believe Richie was actually being serious enough to help him for once. He expected him to mock him for being so het up about a damn test. Eddie had to admit it was pretty stupid though he’d never admit that in front of Richie. 

As his breathing slowed Richie smiled at him making Eddie smile in return.   
‘Okay,’ Eddie sighed, ‘maybe you were right… no making fun of me for freaking out okay?’  
‘Okay,’ Richie chuckled, ‘don’t I deserve extra points for not waking you mom up and having her freak out all over the show?’   
‘Definitely,’ Eddie chuckled thinking about how his mom would probably have him in the back of an ambulance by now. In the flurry of activity, neither of the boys had actually noticed that it was quite chilly out given it being an early March morning in Maine. Almost simultaneously they noticed the cold and the fact that were both dressed in just a thin t-shirt. Richie gazed at Eddie watching as he shivered in the cold, his nose turning pinker by the second. In that moment, Richie had never seen anything as cute before in his life.  
‘To be fair,’ Richie said, ‘I suppose your mom’s right for worrying.’   
‘Yeah but she doesn’t have to go as heavy as she does. I’d probably be in the ER if she could see me right now.’  
‘She cares about you,’ Richie mumbled, playing with a thread on a rip in his jeans, ‘I care about you.’   
‘Richard Tozier are you going soft on me?’ Eddie laughed. Feeling a bolt of brazenness Richie leant forward and placed a kiss on Eddie’s soft lips. He could feel the cold on the tip of Eddie’s nose brush against him. He felt the electricity course through him. He couldn’t believe he had been brave enough to go for it. Eddie stiffened. 

As Richie pulled away he could feel the tension in the air as all he saw was Eddie’s stunned face looking back at him. Richie felt a lump clog his throat, making him unable to speak. 

‘Rich, man,’ Eddie started rubbing the back of his neck as he spoke, ‘look I like you but not in that way. Not that there’s anything wrong with that way. I mean it’s cool y’know I’m sure…’  
‘Edward! Edward Kaspbrak!’ came shout from the kitchen followed by a thundering set of footsteps, ‘tell me you have not gone out in this weather! Tell me you’re not that stupid! Oh and without coats too! Richie Tozier what would your mother say!’ Eddie’s mother appeared at the back door and looked down on them with irritation. Eddie sighed as he was scolded by his mother once again but Richie wasn’t listening. The world had just fallen out from underneath him as his best friend rejected his advances. He didn’t know what was next. Would they still be friends after this? Would Eddie tell people? If he did he would never have a quiet life again, not in Derry. 

‘Ma, we were only out here two seconds,’ Eddie reasoned as he got up and followed his mother, who was still rambling back into the house. Richie stayed put for a minute his head going faster than a freight train as he thought everything over. He only came to as he heard Eddie say, ‘Are you coming inside or?’   
‘I’m gonna go,’ Richie said standing up abruptly and moving at a pace so fast he was already putting on his coat as Eddie came back into the kitchen.   
‘Aren’t you stopping for dinner?’ Mrs Kaspbrak asked.   
‘No ma’am,’ Richie said, ‘gotta get home.’  
‘Rich, it’s okay you can stop,’ Eddie said his eyes trying to convey a message his mother couldn’t see.   
‘No,’ Richie said, ‘it’s better that I leave. See ya.’   
And Richie was out the door and down the street before either of them could reason with him. If Eddie had a chance he would have followed him and told him that everything was okay but he couldn’t. For one, his mother would have him put on at least three more layers before he could leave the house and she would want a full explanation on where he was going. 

If Eddie had known that was one of the last times he’d see Richie he would have definitely gone after him. After that Richie had all but disappeared. His best friend refused to answer his calls and was never in when he stopped by. He became an infrequent face in school and when he was there he always made sure there were at least two other losers around to make sure that Eddie could never bring the topic up. Then they graduated. Eddie went to college and Richie moved to the city. They did well. They forgot.

Derry held many secrets but for Eddie and Richie, it held more than most.


End file.
